The Great Weed War

Pulled a weed from my garden, and then I saw two
I got rid of that pair, it’s what gardeners do
You may not believe, that I then spotted four
Plucked up the quadruplets, and spied even more!

I pulled all that day, and into the night
My wife went to bed... and turned off the light!
I decided right then, oh, these weeds I would best
I would win the weed war, I would pass this weed test!

This went on for a week, and then a fortnight
My foe grew quite large, but I carried the fight
My skin was burned red, from the wind and the sun
I kept at my work, hoping soon I’d be done

Scratched, prickled and whipped, I lost track of the date
I saw spiders and toads, and even a snake!
I would not be put-off, from my mission, my fate
Even wove a weed-hat, to protect my thin pate

Pulling first with my left hand, then with my right
One pulled with great ease! The rest took all my might
It was then that I found that I couldn’t stand straight
I just hobbled and limped, in a strange weeder’s gait

The sweat ran in rivers, the skeeters did bite
I just couldn’t stop, with a weed still in sight
I'm obsessive compulsive, I know that it’s true
But with weeds in my rows, what would you have me do?

There were rainstorms and lightening, and even some hail
A tornado touched down, made me think I might fail
It was humid so bad that I thought I might die
And it only got worse, when the rain brought deer flies

May, June, then July, the months came and then went
My clothes hung in rags, I was tired and spent
My hands they were blistered, and gnarled like two claws
Scarecrow-ish I looked… but the crows just guffawed

I was nearing the end, I could see it quite clear
The weeds they were fading, looking weak, showing fear
Then quick as a wink, the great battle was done
I called to my wife, “I have done it! I’ve won!"

As I crawled to the house on my hands and my knees
Glancing over sore shoulder, my mind was now eased
I can say that for sure, it was well worth the strife
For the handful of beans, and zucchini for life