Friday, October 17, 2008

Mickey Mouse for President

Mickey Mouse Makes Late Entry into Presidential Race
11:05:42 PM Friday October 17, 2008

The Skintail Party has announced that popular actor Mickey Mouse has agreed to accept their nomination as a write-in candidate for November’s presidential election.

Born in 1928 to immigrant parents, Mickey Mouse is a native of California and an actor respected around the world for his talented performances in wide-ranging roles.

His father came to the United States on a cargo ship bound from Ireland. Upon arriving he made his way to Southern California where he met Mickey’s mother, a migrant field-mouse from Mexico. Mickey and ten siblings were born 21 days later.

Mickey lost his father this year as a result of a tragic accident involving spring-machinery and peanut butter. His mother presently lives with her pets, a pair of chipmunks that she has affectionately named Chip and Dale. Mickey has never forgotten his roots - the work ethic and undying optimism of his parents has been an ever-present reminder of his duty to the little man (and mouse).

Mickey is married to his childhood sweetheart, Minerva (Minnie) Mouse. The couple has not been blessed with a litter of their own, but take great pleasure in the companionship of their faithful old hound, Pluto.

Mrs. Mouse has stated that as first lady she will focus her energies to work for abolition of the use of frozen mice, rats, and guinea pigs as feeder animals for the reptilian pet community.

Mr. Mouse has selected Jiminy Cricket as his running mate, citing Cricket’s proven social conscience. Mr. Cricket is currently filming on location somewhere in Zimbabwe but is expected to join Mickey on the campaign trail as soon as he can be located.

In an effort to demonstrate the transparency and bipartisanship with which he will conduct his presidency, Mr. Mouse has made the early announcement that as president he will recommend the following appointments:

White House Chief of Staff - Goofy

White House Press Secretary - Pinocchio

Attorney General - Queen of Hearts

Secretary of Energy - Tigger

Chairman of the Federal Reserve - The Mad Hatter

Secretary of Transportation - Eeyore

Joint Chiefs of Staff - Bashful, Grumpy, Sleepy, Dopey, Sneezy - and two others he can’t remember.

Mickey Mouse will be outlining his platform at a rally immediately following the Anarchist’s in the Park meeting at high-noon on Sunday in Newark, Ohio. We hope that you will join us on the square, and that we can rely on your vote for Mickey Mouse this November 4th.

RELEASED BY: The Skintail Party - Committee for the election of Mickey Mouse - Donald Duck, Chairman.

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