Monday, September 7, 2009

Sports Cliches - the next best thing

Shopping malls should be closed on Saturdays, at least during football season.

If legislation to this effect can’t be enacted immediately, then malls should be outfitted with sports lounges where those of us who have been drafted for a “fun day of shopping” can take the occasional break to catch the latest scores and updates.

As it is, you’re lucky to find a bench where you can rest a minute! This past Saturday, I was fortunate enough to find a bench and a like-minded bench warmer. We enjoyed a pleasant time, observing shoppers and discussing common interests:

Jim, see that brunette in the red jacket? Watch her today; she's a physical player, a proven winner and a force to be reckoned with.

Let’s not forget about the blonde with the ponytail, Carl. She’s a scrappy player, and a serious student of the game.

You’re right, the blonde is obviously the real deal, no question, but don’t discount the elderly lady – she’s a real playmaker who can be counted on to come through in a clutch.

Well, it looks like things are about to get started here. What are you’re thoughts going into this competition?

The intangibles will be the key. This is an intriguing match-up and I’m going to say that the one that wants it most will probably be our winner here today.

I would agree. They’ll have to dig deep, and capitalize on opportunities if they hope to come out on top.

And there they go! It looks like the blonde draws first blood with a smooth end-around cart maneuver that caught the others off guard.

That’s right, Carl. The others are going to have to stay on their toes. They’ve got to stay consistent and not allow those un-forced errors.

They'll need to start playing with a sense of urgency if they’re going to battle their way back into this competition!

Yes, but stick to the game plan – that’s key here. Size-wise, these players are well matched; nobody is likely to dominate in the physical game.

The brunette is making a move now. Boy, she really thrives under pressure.

Yeah, great instincts, and great lateral mobility; I’d say she’s got first-round pick written all over her.

I don’t know, Jim. She has the makings of a great one, but she’s been plagued by injuries all season.

Oh My! How about that screen the elderly lady just set?

She makes it look easy out there, and what an arm! Did you see how she was negotiating the traffic out there before launching that pack of stockings into her cart? Great touch! That pass was right on the money.

Carl, that move may have just changed the complexion of this game. You can almost feel the momentum swinging her way.

You’re right; it was a gutsy play that paid off. That may prove to be this game’s defining moment!

It’s not in the bag yet, Carl, there’s still a lot of game to play and the others could still blow this thing wide open.

True, they’re not out of it yet but…

“Ready, Hun?”

Wha’s 'at?

“I’m done… we can go home now. Are you ready?”

Well… okay… are you sure you got everything?

“Yes! C’mon, let’s go. Are you feeling alright?”

Yeah…I guess. Can we come back here next week?

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